Your wedding vows consist of the most important promises you will ever make. You have to stand up in front an audience of your closest family and friends as you make a lifelong commitment to the one you love. Regardless of the flowers, the cake, the menu choices or even the dress, your vows are the words that transform your wedding from just a party into a marriage. They are the verbal contract that you make before you sign the register; a legally binding document. The vows you set the expectations both of you agree upon as you enter into this lifetime contract with each other.
They are therefore worth spending the time on so you can make sure that they mean something significant to you as a couple. This begs the question though, traditional or contemporary.
An extract from the traditional wedding vows is as follows;
“I [Name], take you [Name], for my lawful wife / husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to you.”
Traditional wedding vows are usually chosen when the ceremony is performed inside a church or religious building. God is considered to be part of the wedding, giving his blessing and bringing spirituality to the special day. To many people a wedding is simply not a wedding without the presence of God and so the traditional vows that refer to the religious element are a welcome tradition to uphold.
You can still use the main elements of traditional vows outside of a church, keeping the structure and promises the same without the inclusion of God. People do this when they appreciate the value of traditions and want to say the words they have been visualising long before the big day.
As long as the registrar agrees that the promises you are making are in keeping with the law of marriage then you really can say anything.
Some fun vows used before include;
“You are my husband/wife. My feet shall run because of you. My feet shall dance because of you. My heart shall beat because of you. My eyes see because of you. My mind thinks because of you. And I shall love because of you.”
“Let us be friends and lovers, and grow old disgracefully together.”
“I promise to protect you from carbon freezing and promise to protect you from the Dark Side, through hyperspace and into the far reaches of the galaxy.”
People who chose contemporary vows usually have their wedding outside of the church; they are not usually religious or at least they decide not to include the religious element in the ceremony.
It is worth noting though that if you want to get married in a church but would prefer a more personalised version of the vows, most religious institutions are happy to discuss this, although there would be obvious restrictions. Most of them offer marriage guidance and encourage couples to consider carefully the grandeur of the event. As the vows are such an important part of this commitment then a discussion regarding vows with your priest/vicar/religious leader is valuable if you would like to combine both the traditional and the contemporary.
Those who do want to alter the traditional words of a wedding do so because they want to put their own individual stamp on the occasion and say words that represent them personally as a couple.
As you can see from the examples above, some couples take words from favourite songs or films, some share moments and memories, some even sing or chant their vows.
When deciding what promises to make to each other the only things to consider is what is important to you and your partner. Some make decisions based on the expectations from friends or family but remember you are not marrying these people. The only person who you are marrying is the only person that matters when it comes to the vows; your fiancé.
Once the promises have been made and it comes to the party, the food and the music then of course you want your guests to enjoy the special occasion. When booking a wedding DJ, you want to make sure that you have someone who can play tunes to get everyone out of their seats and on to the dance floor. Contact UK Mobile Disco for a free quote and a professional service.
We are really pleased with the music and service at our Medic Spring Ball. Everyone loved the music choices! and there was great co-ordination with the jazz band that we also had at the event." - Bristol University Medical School Society